The Misadventures of
Abraham Lincoln
There was a rumor that Abraham Lincoln was a great magician. He was bright, not bright as in smart, but bright as in clever. He would stand over people with his long slender body as if he were an oak tree. He would pull a watermelon from your ear as if he were catching an apple that had fallen from the root of his gigantic tall hat.
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His mother hated that he would sneak out to the nearby town to set up shop and show off his magic abilities to the piggish villagers who would only be there for entertainment and never to help with money. Abraham was a genuine fellow who loved to meet new people.
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One cold night Abraham happened to be inside of his room trying out new magic tricks.
Squeak! A loud but low noise came out.
Abraham looked around to find out where this mysterious noise was coming from.
Squeak! Squeak! “AHH, a rat!” Abraham yelled, tumbling backwards into his wardrobe
closet, knocking all his clothes and items on the floor.
He scared the rat away somewhere inside of the room. He jumped up and put on his “ratbusters” outfit with the aluminum foil hat, big jacket to keep the bite marks away, and long pants to make sure the rat didn’t come crawling up his leg. He was now ready for war and began his search.
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VROOM! The rat shot out across the room straight towards Abraham.
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He was scared for his life, so he slapped and stomped everything around him. As the crows outside peered into Abraham’s room, it looked as if was he trying to do some kind of rain dance. While fighting the air, Abraham clipped himself and fell backwards into his tall hat.
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AHHH! THUMP! He fell right into a pile of hay.
When he got out, he looked up and noticed he was in a town full of life-sized rats. All colors of rats having fun, eating cheese, and driving mouse trap cars and cheese wheel tables. This was like the real world, just with rats.
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“Hello Abraham, I'm so sorry to have frightened you, but I am Rylo.”
Rylo was a smart, but sketchy looking rat. He had on glasses and wore braces on his teeth, which brought out his uniqueness. He had a bunch of scars showing he had been through a lot.
“I am the sheriff around these parts and we have been expecting you. We sent one of our agents to
summon you here.”
Abraham looked as if he had seen two dead relatives as he drooled in disbelief. This was abnormal, but it had to be real because he had yet to see the back of his eyelids.
“We needed you here on behalf of your spontaneous magic powers,” Rylo continued. “There is this monster Lompthis who comes every year to destroy our hard-working town. He eats everything shaped like cheese or anything that smells like it.”
Abraham was in complete confusion, but as much as he wanted to go home, he was willing to accept the challenge, but only under one condition.
“Can you help me get home to where I belong?” he asked Rylo.
“Indeed, I will, but if you fail, we all die and you will never see your home again.”
It sounded a bit tragic to hear that this was either a win or lose situation, but nobody had better magic powers than Abraham, and he knew it.
Times passed along through the night and Abraham’s mother finally walked into the room to check on him and realized that he was gone. Since he had left many times before, she just decided that it was for the best.
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Rylo and Abraham were now planning to defeat this beast so that everyone could be safe and Abraham could get home. All of the rats from around the town, big and small, came out to help. They worked for a few hours until a rat from the distance blew the battle horn that signaled Lompthis being nearby. Everyone ran for cover, quickly, but safe.
Lompthis broke through the tall brick wall with a lion roar.
“Here’s Lompthis,” his deep voice screeched, scaring the little boys and girls.
They ran in panic, completely breaking the plan that Abraham and Rylo made for them. As the frenzy began, Rylo and Abraham came from behind the cheddar car.
“Halt!” yelled Abraham.
The two stared at each other in vengeance. You could see Lompthis ashy scale skin, his one red eye, and one glass eye. He had lost his eye at a young age. While they stared, Lompthis saw who it was and smirked.
“Ahh! The legend, Abraham. How dare you stand here in front of me?”
He let out a devilish laugh and threw a punch. Abraham pushed Rylo out of the way and with a finger
disappeared.
Lompthis looked confused. “Where did he go?” he said.
“You should really clean your ears sir,” Abraham said, appearing on Lompthis’s shoulder.
He wound up a whirl using a giant fist and punched Lompthis, sweeping him into the air. The rat people stood up and roared into a frenzy, as if they were at a coliseum watching a gladiator fight.
While in the air, Abraham grabbed him with his giant fist and hypnotized him, making him punch himself and beat himself up. Abraham made the beast promise to never mess with the rat people again and kicked him miles away from the town. The rat people were in an uproar from the excitement of the victory. They all came out and picked up Abraham in joy. They all set out a cheer.
“Hurray! Hurray! Abraham saved the day!”
The town was full of excitement. As they cheered on Abraham, Rylo was in the background and Abraham got down and came over.
“It is great to see that there are good people out here who would help even strangers be safe and live a better life,” he said. “I thank you for helping us here, and as I promised here is your way home.”
Rylo handed Abraham an axe and Abraham thanked the rat people and waved the axe around. Abraham shot straight out of his top hat and ended up right in bed before breakfast.
His mother opened the door with the brightest smile and said, “Abraham, breakfast is ready. Where did you go last night?”
“I just saved some people from what they should never have to go through,” he answered. They both smiled and his mother added, “I told you sweetheart. One day you will be the change that the world needs. I’m proud of you”.
-Sh'raud Sheffield